I See God Inside of Everyone
I See God Inside of Everyone
Abstract
I See God Inside of Everyone – Looking at the Guru’s examples through stories from Sikh history, to help us see beyond each other’s faults and differences
. How do we keep ourselves from being judgmental and critical of others around us in our day to day encounters, and yet still be open and see the God in that person.
Video of Presentation
Body of Paper
I See God Inside of Everyone
Looking at the Guru’s examples and personal life experiences in an effort to help us see beyond each other’s faults and differences.
How do we keep ourselves from being judgmental and critical of others around us in our day to day encounters, and yet still be open and see the God and Goodness in that person? This is a common thing that we all deal with in our day to day relationships, and with people that we encounter.
Guru Nanak was always trying to break down the barriers of differences and showing that we are all One and from the same source. He taught a message of acceptance, equality, oneness – that is within all of us no matter what color, religion, practice.
There are a number of stories in Sikh history that share how the Guru saw beyond people’s bad deeds, and inspired them to see and change their ways. One story was about Sheikh Sajjan (Thagh) who was a thief and murderer. The Guru didn’t discard this man who had done really terrible things. Instead he inspired him to reflect on his actions and change his life.
In Japji Sahib Guru Nanak talks about Nirbau – Nirvair – No Enemy/Fear and No Animosity/Hate. In the Ardas we remember to have “Sarbat Da Bhalaa” – Goodwill to all people. Not just your friends and family and people you like. To ALL people. Certainly it’s easier said than done.
Overall every human has a longing to belong, to feel happiness and be loved. No one likes to be put down, judged or criticized. Yet the tendency for many people is to react unconsciously to people and situations in a negative way, rather than trying to “lift up” the situation. Like the Guru, we can all be a lighthouse or “forklift” for others.
The Guru’s example was to inspire and lift people up from where they are at, not push them down and away.
During Vaisakhi when we gave our head to the Guru. For me that really means we give our ego to the Guru, and act from our heart and not our head. This allows us to be less reactive and see the unseen, and respond with love from the heart when otherwise it might be difficult to do.
Sikhs against Sikhs
Internal: Spiritual Practice, Comparison
I am a second generation Sikh born in the mid 1970’s in Los Angeles, California with the name “Guru Mustuk Singh Khalsa.” My parents’ generation were some of these “pioneers” embarking on a totally new journey on this Sikh path. Both came from mixed religious backgrounds; with my mother from a Jewish family and my father from a Christian family. They were some of the early western/non-Indian people to adopt the Sikh path.
Even though I was born to a Sikh family, It was difficult being a “white” Sikh youth. Everywhere I went I would get stares. We were clearly different. In India, it was such a novelty for people seeing a “white sikh” since it was not very common. In America the stares were there as well, people not knowing what to make of me. So everywhere I went I would stand out like a sore thumb. Most kids want to fit in, NOT stand out. It didn’t help either that many “Heritage” Sikhs from Punjabi background would pre-judge and stereotype me and the actions of any western born Sikhs into a single “3HO” entity, as if we were the same person and all the same. Most often this was out of lack of understanding about who we were, what we were about, and little or no real understanding of this community of seekers. All that was required was someone to have an open heart and look deeply to see the same longing for the Guru, and to get to know me and others as real people.
To this day I and other “White Sikhs” are generalized and lumped into a category of “3HO people” (typically when being criticized) as if we were not “real” Sikhs. These sort of labels and categorizations are inaccurate and only divide us. Definitely not what Guru Nanak Dev ji had in mind, since he always embraced diversity and accepted everyone.
I know of many people new to Sikhi, who love the openness of this path, and later got scared away, disillusioned with how the community acts in contrast to the ideals set forth by the Gurus teachings. Instead of being welcoming, they were criticized and judged. Certainly this doesn’t only apply to people new to Sikhi. I have heard countless stories of Sikhs (particularly youth) who have cut hair or don’t fit a certain look, and they are not welcomed in the Guru’s house by many.
When I was a teenager and finding my way, I went through a phase of experimentation with drugs, alcohol, smoking, partying, etc. If my family, friends and community just judged me and cast me out during this time then I would be a very different person than I am today. For me that low part of my life was necessary for me to understand and appreciate the value of this path. It gave me the passion and drive to devote my life to serving through SikhNet. It helped me be compassionate to others and more understanding to others that were different. I have no idea what other people’s destiny is and what lessons they need to learn to become a better person. It’s not for me to judge. Just for me to see the God and light in that person and try to be a support. I try to see below the surface, the hurt and pain that is showing up on the surface for that person.
Sikhi is a journey not a destination
Being a Sikh means that we are a learner or student. We are always learning and growing. It is the situations that come in life (good and bad) that give us perspective and teach us. With that in mind it helps me, by understanding that everyone is on this path doing the best that they can, and all I can do is be present and aware so that when situations arise I can be aware and respond from my heart and not my head.
The reality is the looks are deceiving too. Some people may look like a Gursikh on the outside with full bana, but may be a crooked cheat. Then there are those that don’t look like a Sikh, but have a deep love for the Guru and do lots of seva for people around them.
We need to move beyond the outward expectations and judgments of other people and focus on ourselves. Spending more time “looking in the mirror” and working on our self.
“Saving Sikhi”
One thing which is very common, especially in the online world is Criticizing and Putting others down in the guise of “Saving or protecting Sikhi”. Like a bully that gets a feeling of power by hurting someone. There is a feeling by the person that they have to “take a stand” and stop whatever wrongdoing by someone. It’s a good intention, but the typical way this is carried out is by putting others down without the interest to actually help or understand the situation.
“There is something seductive about criticism. People think that it is a contribution, that My contribution is the pile on. That my contribution is to make fun of people that are trying, but getting pushed down. That is such a safe way to move through the world right now. People don’t understand that joy is the most vulnerable emotion that we experience. Far more vulnerable than fear or shame. We are terrified of joy because when we let ourselves feel joy we are so afraid we will get sucker punched by pain, and so what we do when something joyful comes along is we dress rehearse tragedy or diminish it. We choose comfort over courage.“ – Brene Brown
We as Sikhs can often get caught up as being the “Victims” and reactive to situations. Rather than focusing on positive action to inspire, create change, and uplift, people getting stuck in the “fighting” against and sharing in the put down of others.
Rigidity in way of practice sikhi. “Rulebook” that they learned
One of the pitfalls that is common is that we are all taught certain beliefs and practices and when someone else does something that doesn’t align with that then we react to that in a negative way. We haven’t developed the awareness to be open to learning something new or seeing another perspective that might give understanding as to why the person does something. How we can sit down and discuss our perspectives on Sikhi in a way that is humanizing, connective rather than dividing? Just because I do something a certain way doesn’t mean it is the only way. This is the beauty of the path of Guru Nanak.
Non Sikhs against Sikhs (External)
You may have been the recipient of someone who isn’t a Sikh, shouting angry words at you because of your turban or skin color. When this happens to me, I try to put myself in that person’s shoes and be understanding of why they are angry or negative to me. They may have a hard life, be angry as a result of their situation, and as a result it’s hard for them to be positive and kind to others. When I’m having a hard time in my life I typically am more negative and see others that way as compared to when I’m feeling happy. This realization helps me have understanding and empathy for others in situations like this.
It could also be that the person is making assumptions about who you are, where you are from and what you stand for. They likely don’t know you. Reacting to them and matching the hate will only create more of the same.
People are hard to hate closeup. It’s like the story of the white supremacist neo nazi who hated muslims and wanted to hurt them, but had never actually met a muslim. He had certain misguided beliefs that created this intense hate. When a friend of his heard that he wanted to kill a muslim, he intervened. He invited him to go out to lunch, and without him knowing, he had called a Imam at a local Mosque and arranged a meeting to have his friend actually meet a muslim to talk with. When it became lunch time the friend told him that they were not going to lunch and were instead going to a Mosque. The man freaked out and was afraid and fearful of doing this. He eventually agreed and though the Imam only had 10 minutes to talk because they arrived late, they ended up talking for a long time. As a result of this single meeting and getting to know each other, they blossomed into lifelong friends, which changed his whole life and perspective in relation to hate.
Goal is Awareness of our own mind and thoughts
To summarize I’m trying to make a few points.
- Work at being more conscious of negative thoughts towards others that come to your mind and catch them. It is easier to make a change and be open to other people and differences. To see the oneness and sameness in each and every person in spite of any perceived differences. The first step to breaking a habit is to be aware of it and conscious when you are doing it.
- When you find yourself thinking critical and judgemental thoughts try to examine why you are feeling that way and what might be triggering that feeling.
- Just because someone practices or does something differently than you doesn’t make the other person’s way wrong or incorrect. We all relate to things based on our own experience and what is right for me isn’t necessarily right for someone else.
- Look at things from the person’s perspective – Be genuinely open and willing to explore a different viewpoint. Try to understand or see beyond the surface.
- Sometimes people have to get stuck in the mud and do “bad” things to wake up create change in their life. We can’t judge where people are in their journey.
- Focus on positive changes you can make in your life that will set an example and serve others. Don’t judge or criticize people. Instead use this energy to work on yourself and become a better person. None of us are perfect. Each of us have more than enough things to work on in our own life.
- Don’t be the victim and reactive – Focus on the positive change that we want to see. So instead of the “Sikh problems blog” why not the “Sikh solutions blog”? Don’t fall into the trap of the Self righteous attitude of feeling it is their duty to “save sikhi” and tell people what they are doing wrong by putting them down.
Are you a forklift or a weight? Are you a lighthouse or are you a boat tossing in the ocean?
We all need to be like a lighthouse or a fork lift (one of those machines that slide under boxes and heavy stuff and raise it up). We all have the capacity to be forklifts and lighthouses in our own way. Rather than be reactive and negative we can focus on positive change by lifting each other up. Each of us have a choice to focus on pain and negative things or we can be proactive and focus on the things that make our lives positive and joyful. It’s a simple choice of how we use our life energy.
Ek Ong Kaur Kaur who is part of the SikhNet team shared a really nice perspective on this topic in an article that is part of the recent SikhNet Online Learning Center course ( http://learn.sikhnet.com ) titled “Finding Peace – Healing Trauma and Loss”
“Let us reference the teaching that it is possible to view both friend and enemy as equivalent to one another. What does that mean?
Guru Arjan Dev ji describes the formula in the following shabad:
Prathhamae Shhoddee Paraaee Nindhaa ||
First, I gave up slandering others.
ਉਤਰਿ ਗਈ ਸਭ ਮਨ ਕੀ ਚਿੰਦਾ ॥
Outhar Gee Sabh Man Kee Chindhaa ||
All the anxiety of my mind was dispelled.
ਲੋਭੁ ਮੋਹੁ ਸਭੁ ਕੀਨੋ ਦੂਰਿ ॥
Lobh Mohu Sabh Keeno Dhoor ||
Greed and attachment were banished entirely.
ਪਰਮ ਬੈਸਨੋ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਪੇਖਿ ਹਜੂਰਿ ॥੧॥
Param Baisano Prabh Paekh Hajoor ||1||
I see God ever-present, close at hand; I have become a great devotee. ||1||
ਐਸੋ ਤਿਆਗੀ ਵਿਰਲਾ ਕੋਇ ॥
Aiso Thiaagee Viralaa Koe ||
Such a renunciate is very rare.
ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਜਪੈ ਜਨੁ ਸੋਇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Har Har Naam Japai Jan Soe ||1|| Rehaao ||
Such a humble servant chants the Name of the Lord, Har, Har. ||1||Pause and Reflect||
ਅਹੰਬੁਧਿ ਕਾ ਛੋਡਿਆ ਸੰਗੁ ॥
Ahanbudhh Kaa Shhoddiaa Sang ||
I have forsaken my egotistical intellect.
ਕਾਮ ਕ੍ਰੋਧ ਕਾ ਉਤਰਿਆ ਰੰਗੁ ॥
Kaam Krodhh Kaa Outhariaa Rang ||
The hue of sensual desire and anger has vanished.
ਨਾਮ ਧਿਆਏ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰੇ ॥
Naam Dhhiaaeae Har Har Harae ||
I meditate on the Naam, the Name of the Lord, Har, Har.
ਸਾਧ ਜਨਾ ਕੈ ਸੰਗਿ ਨਿਸਤਰੇ ॥੨॥
Saadhh Janaa Kai Sang Nisatharae ||2||
In the Company of the Holy, I am emancipated. ||2||
ਬੈਰੀ ਮੀਤ ਹੋਏ ਸੰਮਾਨ ॥
Bairee Meeth Hoeae Sanmaan ||
Enemy and friends have become the same to me.
ਸਰਬ ਮਹਿ ਪੂਰਨ ਭਗਵਾਨ ॥
Sarab Mehi Pooran Bhagavaan ||
The Perfect Divine is permeating all.
ਪ੍ਰਭ ਕੀ ਆਗਿਆ ਮਾਨਿ ਸੁਖੁ ਪਾਇਆ ॥
Prabh Kee Aagiaa Maan Sukh Paaeiaa ||
Accepting the Will of the Divine, I have found peace.
ਗੁਰਿ ਪੂਰੈ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਇਆ ॥੩॥
Gur Poorai Har Naam Dhrirraaeiaa ||3||
The Perfect Guru has implanted the Name of the Lord within me. ||3||
ਕਰਿ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਜਿਸੁ ਰਾਖੈ ਆਪਿ ॥
Kar Kirapaa Jis Raakhai Aap ||
That person, whom the Lord, in His Mercy, saves
ਸੋਈ ਭਗਤੁ ਜਪੈ ਨਾਮ ਜਾਪ ॥
Soee Bhagath Japai Naam Jaap ||
That devotee recites and goes deeper into the Naam.
ਮਨਿ ਪ੍ਰਗਾਸੁ ਗੁਰ ਤੇ ਮਤਿ ਲਈ ॥
Man Pragaas Gur Thae Math Lee ||
That person who obtains understanding through the Guru’s vision, his/her mind becomes illumined.
ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਤਾ ਕੀ ਪੂਰੀ ਪਈ ॥੪॥੨੭॥੪੦॥
Kahu Naanak Thaa Kee Pooree Pee ||4||27||40||
– says Nanak, that person is totally fulfilled. ||4||27||40||
This Shabad is so very rich. Yet the one facet that struck me the deepest is the first line about slandering others. The Guru instructs that when we stop slandering others, the mind leaves behind anxiety, greed and attachment.
That by not slandering them, the anxiety in my mind disappears.
When we experience trauma, fear or pain, the instinct to lash out, to blame someone, shame someone, rage against someone, speak negatively about someone is a very normal way of life. Yet in this Shabad, the Guru seems to indicate that speaking negatively about others keeps the mind in a state of dis-ease. And that making a choice to not think or say anything negative brings the mind to ease.
When we curb our predisposition to speak negatively, it gives the ability for our sight to soften and widen. To “see the Perfect One permeating all.” If I choose to not speak negatively, and I choose to see the Divine in every heart – then it follows quite naturally what the Guru says. That “enemy and friends have become the same to me.”
In other words, it does not matter whether a person is an enemy or a friend. My mind responds with the same emotional equanimity to both.
Accessing this state of consciousness is a tall order, no doubt. How can we cultivate the habit of not speaking negatively about others? Rather than just biting our tongue, how do we genuinely come to the state of not having anything negative to say?
About the Author
Gurumustuk Singh, known by many from his web blog nick name “MrSikhNet”, started the SikhNet.com website in 1995 as a teenager out of high school during the beginnings of the world wide web. He also started the first and largest online matrimonial service for Sikhs (SikhMatrimonials.com) before any similar service like this existed for the Asian/Sikh community. Later introduced many other innovative and unique web services (Including SikhiWiki, Gurbani Media Center, The Karma Game, Audio Stories for Kids, Youth Online Film Festival), which continue to serve the Sikh community today. SikhNet (a non-profit organization based in Espanola, New Mexico) now in it’s 18th year continues to serve, inspire, educate and inform over 20,000 unique visitors a day from all over the world. Gurumustuk lives with his wife, daughter, and son in Espanola, New Mexico and continues to develop the SikhNet website with the rest of the SikhNet team.